New Places

by Maureen R. Johnston, MFT
(Originally appeared in my newsletter Sense and Psychotherapy, Winter 1998)

By the time I moved to the Bay Area ten years ago, I had managed to accumulate more than ten previous addresses in four years. Though I had enjoyed my nomadic existence, I was ready to stay put for a while. I was fortunate to find myself in a stable network composed of my husband's family and friends. As I quickly discovered though, many of the people I met outside this initial small circle were transplants like myself. Most of them were, or had once been, in a situation similar to mine: a stranger landing in a new place.

Although each transplant's experience is deeply personal and unique, we all encounter some of the same issues. What often shocks new arrivals to the Bay Area the most is the incredibly high cost of living. The ramifications of this affect nearly every aspect of our lives, determining the type of dwelling we live in, the neighborhood we choose, where our kids go to school, our commute. The incredible pace and energy in the Valley can be at once compelling and frightening. It's a challenging, rewarding, and often emotionally taxing place to live and work.

It's easy to minimize the profound impact of moving, even for "natives" (I'm using the term rather loosely here by including myself). A move of only a few miles can drastically alter our daily routines. I'm surprised at how long it has taken me to "bond" with the house we moved into last January. On more than one occasion, I've left a store or my office and started on my way back to our old house. I'm constantly amazed by the energy involved in such seemingly mundane tasks as learning new routes, finding local restaurants, even mapping the aisles in the local grocery store. It's no wonder couples argue, children act out, and many of us feel anxious and unsettled by a move.

Will we stay in the Bay Area forever? I don't know. It's my home now. I have the community and stability I was looking for a decade ago. Sometimes, though, the idea of a slower pace, a place where technology isn't king, where you can drive less than 30 minutes and be OUT of town is very appealing. Not only that, but looking back on the apprehension and excitement I felt when we first moved here, I wonder, "What if?" For now though, this is home and I very much appreciate the opportunities and experiences the Bay Area has provided me. We won't be moving again, at least not for awhile.

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